Calgon, take me away!

Do you ever have one of those days where you wish the Calgon commercial could actually come true? A bath that could make your problems or the hustle bustle of life just disappear as you slink down in the bathtub and you end up in paradise. I had one of those days yesterday, except it was packed into a 2 hour period last night. The rest of my day went pretty darn well for a Monday. The evening was going well with Jacob until my hands were full of raw chicken that I was preparing for dinner. Of course, that is usually when things start to go awry...when you are doing something that slows your reaction time down a couple notches. Jacob decided to rearrange some items in the refridgerator. As I told him to get out of the fridge, he proceeded to move the giant plastic jar of minced garlic (we put garlic in everything but our cereal) from the door to the shelf, very seriously saying that is where it should be. As I told him again to get out of the fridge, he proceeded to pick up the glass jar of sliced pickles (which luckily only had a few slices of pickle in it) to put it next to the garlic on the shelf. I quickly started to wash my hands as I told him to put the pickles down. Before I could get to him, he dropped the jar right in front of his bare feet. It broke and pickle juice started to flood the floor around him. I yelled for him to stand still. Thankfully, he decided he better listen to me, and he froze. I grabbed him and quickly checked his feet for blood and glass. I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized he didn't have a mark on him. Now I had to face the daunting task of cleaning up pickle juice and glass with an ever-growing belly in the way. 10 minutes and half a roll of paper towels later, there was no evidence of the near-disaster.
I went back to feverishly preparing dinner in order to avoid eating too much later than usual. With the chicken in the oven, pasta for mac and cheese (Jacob's request) boiling on the stove, and veggies heating up, I decided to take the chicken fat to the garbage can outside. Jacob wanted to come with me. That was when I realized that maybe I should check his training underwear for any surprises. As he adamantly told me he didn't have poo-poo, I discovered that he did. Off to the bathroom we go. By the time I finished cleaning him up, I realized I better hurry and check on dinner before I ruin it. I told Jacob to go to his room and put on some underwear. He said okay, but he followed me instead. I saved the pasta just in time.
I brought him back to his room, gave him some dinosaur underwear and asked him to put it on. He decided he wanted to find all of the T-Rex's before he put it on. After several unsuccessful attempts to get him to count the T-Rex's after he put the underwear on, I grabbed the underwear and put them on my self. Then I ran to the kitchen to save the chicken before it started to dry out.
I fixed our plates, and we enjoyed a nice dinner together. I thought the rest of the night would go smooth until the normal bedtime procrastination. Wrong! After we finished eating, I got Jacob out of his highchair and tried to get him to come with me to get in the tub for his bath. Like any other 3-year-old, Nick Jr. was much more interesting, so he climbed on the couch instead. I got the bath water running and went to get him, and the phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but I answered it anyway. Bad idea. It was someone from our church trying to set up a visit to try to sell us spaces in the new mausoleum the church is getting ready to build. Just what I want to talk about while I am trying to get Jacob in the tub before he has an accident on the couch (he isn't fully potty-trained yet). I tried to Jacob off the couch and go potty so he could get in the tub. He refused. So I briefly turned my attention to getting off the phone with the nice gentleman from church. I noticed Jacob jump up off the couch and run down the hall to the tub. I hung up the phone and followed him. As I asked him if he needed to potty before he got in the tub, I realized he was wet. An image of a puddle of urine on the couch entered my mind. I asked him if he went potty on the couch, and he said he had. I plopped him in the tub, and ran down the hall (again) to check the couch. Wet, of course. As I ran into the laundry room to grab a towel and the Resolve, I said, "Please God, help me." I saved the couch before the urine soaked in too bad.
I guess God decided to answer my prayer, because the rest of the night went well. Jacob didn't even procrastinate getting in bed and went to sleep fairly quickly. And despite a crazy couple hours, I remained calm and didn't let it get to me. I even laughed as I recounted the night's events to Jason when he got home from work.
Sorry this is such a long post, but I just had to share my Calgon night. I am sure some of you can relate to those crazy yet memorable evenings. And I know for a fact, some of you will laugh right along with me.